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I helped today- wife told me to stay out of the kitchen. This is what I was allowed to do.

By: HolyShadow

I helped today- wife told me to stay out of the kitchen. This is what I was allowed to do.

Upvotes: 632

It took 14 years but I can finally sell my car.

By: CrimsonMoon

It took 14 years but I can finally sell my car.

Upvotes: 711

Did you mean Switzerland ?????

By: DelicateWater

Did you mean Switzerland ?????

Upvotes: 605

My mom told me to make something nice to wear for Thanksgiving. I think I nailed it.

By: LittleWildflower

My mom told me to make something nice to wear for Thanksgiving. I think I nailed it.

Upvotes: 696

Classic speed trap

By: DampPine

Classic speed trap

Upvotes: 733

it's just my brother and I for Thanksgiving this year this is what I was told to bring.

By: SummerShape

it's just my brother and I for Thanksgiving this year this is what I was told to bring.

Upvotes: 544

“you’re 30?”, “you’re single and live alone?”, and “wait how many cats?” are my free-spaces for Thanksgiving Bingo this year!

By: BrokenWildflower

“you’re 30?”, “you’re single and live alone?”, and “wait how many cats?” are my free-spaces for Thanksgiving Bingo this year!

Upvotes: 829

“American Breakfast”, according to a hotel in Sumatra

By: HiddenField

“American Breakfast”, according to a hotel in Sumatra

Upvotes: 544

I am altering my toilet. Pray I don’t alter it any further.

By: StillFrog

I am altering my toilet. Pray I don’t alter it any further.

Upvotes: 886

Mitch Hedberg would roll over in his grave.

By: FloralShape

Mitch Hedberg would roll over in his grave.

Upvotes: 825

My wife doesn’t know how to use my new “decoration”.

By: AutumnResonance

My wife doesn’t know how to use my new “decoration”.

Upvotes: 584

My wife thought she was ordering eight individual bananas...

By: FragrantShape

My wife thought she was ordering eight individual bananas...

Upvotes: 585

Have a Hunch [OC]

By: BillowingFire

Have a Hunch [OC]

Upvotes: 538

my parents got me a bottle of rum while they were on a cruise. English is not their first language.

By: WildCloud

my parents got me a bottle of rum while they were on a cruise. English is not their first language.

Upvotes: 763

Cats

By: PolishedShape

Cats

Upvotes: 630

Daylight

By: FloralPine

Daylight

Upvotes: 592

I was on the train and...

By: AncientSnow

I was on the train and...

Upvotes: 850

Big ass tree I found today

By: WitheredDawn

Big ass tree I found today

Upvotes: 795

I made my cat an eyepatch and he rocked it.

By: BlackFire

I made my cat an eyepatch and he rocked it.

Upvotes: 619

what am I supposed to do with a $25 gift certificate to a car dealership? Buy 1/1000 of a car?

By: SnowyLog

what am I supposed to do with a $25 gift certificate to a car dealership? Buy 1/1000 of a car?

Upvotes: 653